Republicans Flock to Peter Luger’s in Defiance of NYT Zero-Star Review
BROOKLYN, NY – Despite the savage review given by the…
Politics
GOP Demands Investigation into Garlic Violence
GILROY, CA -- As disturbing images of the mass shooting…
Trump Advisors Urge Him to Degrade More White People
WASHINGTON, DC -- In the aftermath of his racist attacks…
Fourth of July Celebration to Feature Tanks Rolling Over Protesters
WASHINGTON, DC -- President Trump has demanded that this years…
New Press Secretary Eager to Start Not Doing Her Job
WASHINGTON, DC -- Today, newly appointed White House Press Secretary…
Mueller Releases 900-Page Report Detailing How Disappointing His Testimony Will Be
WASHINGTON, DC -- In the lead up to Robert Mueller's…
Entertainment
Measles, Mumps, & Rubella Comeback Tour a Smashing Success
SEATTLE, WA -- After decades in obscurity, measles, mumps, &…
Clint Eastwood Directs New Film About Character and Plot From Last Three Films
LOS ANGELES, CA -- In his latest film, legendary actor…
White House Intern Drowns In Melania’s Christmas Themed River of Blood
Tragedy struck last night shortly before the unveiling on Melania…
Sports
White House Claims “Boos” at World Series Were in Honor of Halloween
WASHINGTON, DC – Doubling down on their assertion that the…
Russian Operative in Loose-Fitting Skin Suit Defeats Election Security
WASHINGTON, DC -- In a surprise move that pushed the…
John Kelly’s Testicles Hung in White House Entrance as Warning to All Future Chiefs of Staff
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As the rumored dismissal of one of…
Technology
Romaine Farmers Adding Gun Parts in Effort to Kill With Impunity
CAMARILLO, CA -- Romaine farmers throughout the country are feeling…
Google Workbots Skip Walkout Despite Constant Harassment
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA -- Google's army of working robots was…
Trump Sends Troops to US Umbrella Factories
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Trump yesterday ordered two Army combat…
World
Russian Operative in Loose-Fitting Skin Suit Defeats Election Security
WASHINGTON, DC -- In a surprise move that pushed the…
Boris Johnson Lays Out Detailed Plan of Excuses for His Future Brexit Failure
LONDON, UK -- Newly appointed UK Prime Minster Boris Johnson…
Trump Threatens to Start Businesses in China if They Don’t Agree to Trade Deal
BEIJING, CHINA -- As Trump's trade war with China escalates,…
