40-Year-Old Film Editor Jealous of Attention Schizophrenic Friend Gets

LOS ANGELES, CA — Over the holidays it came to his friends attention that Barry Palmer was having another psychotic break. Multiple social media posts outlining the planned Democratic takeover of the government by aging hippies set off alarms among those who still subscribed to his news feed.

One of those most effected by Barry’s fourth break in as many years was Derrick Waters, a 40-year-old film editor from Reseda. But it was not the bleak nature of the actual posts that bothered Derrick, it was the number or likes and comments Barry received for them.

“Look, I know the guy is going through things, but aren’t we all?” Derrick mused from his cubicle in the basement of YouTube studios in Playa Vista.

Derrick pointed out that although Barry thinks his parents are trying to kill him, he still has a “pretty hot Russian girlfriend” and “probably makes twice as much money as I do.”

Barry has been in and out of psychiatric facilities for over a decade, so few questioned what was going on when he began accusing his best friend of having an affair with his sister on Facebook or posting 27 different pictures of James Baldwin quotes on his Instagram after posting only 4 pictures in the previous two years.

“He got ten plus likes on every single one of those Baldwin’s,” complained Derrick, “My mom didn’t even like a ‘Throwback Thursday’ pic of me and her I posted on Mother’s Day.”