Breaking News:
Tuesday, Apr 23, 2024
ISTANBUL, TURKEY — As questions regarding the fate of international journalist Jamal Khashoggi mount, Saudi Arabia continues to deny any involvement in his disappearance. Mr. Khashoggi, who has been critical of the Saudi government, was last seen entering to Saudi Consulate in Istanbul on October 2nd to apply for a marriage license, but surveillance footage […]
Read More
WASHINGTON, D.C. — For weeks, an ongoing mystery has been baffling White House staffers. Every few days, President Trump’s crayon box has had to be replaced because countless colors have gone missing. This has reportedly infuriated the President, who has become increasingly suspicious of his staff, and disrupted work on his biographical coloring book. “The […]
Read More
AFRICA — While on a glamorous $25 million, four-country photoshoot tour in some of the most beautiful backdrops in Africa, First Lady Melania Trump may have finally completed her ongoing search for the fabled Lost Ark of the Covenant. Melania’s quest began when White House Chief of Staff John Kelly sat her in front of a […]
Read More
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an apparent victory lap after the confirmation of Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court, Senator Mitch McConnell (R-SC) was photographed bathing in the tears of protestors distressed by the collapse of American democracy. During the protests, many had questioned why McConnell staffers were out collecting the tears of survivors of sexual […]
Read More
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Details of the White House’s order for the FBI to investigate sexual assault allegations against Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh have revealed limits to the scope of the investigation. The White House has reportedly told the Bureau to ”…only investigate matters which have already been proven to be true.” President Trump also […]
Read More
Republican strategists have been facing increased difficulties as they attempt to find under qualified sexual predators to fill vacancies in elections across the country. This comes as Representative Jim Knoblach (R-MN) becomes the latest, in a string of Republican sexual predators, to abandon his bid for re-election after allegations of sexual misconduct were raised. By […]
Read More
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In response to Bob Woodward’s new tell all book “Fear: Trump in the White House”, President Trump has followed through on his Twitter threat write on his own book. Trump promises to reveal the real truth behind his time in the White House in a 12-page picture book which he will dictate to […]
Read More
Yes, the conservatives are winning. And the news is only going to get worse. Protesting, Mueller, and the impotent democratic leadership can’t save you now. With his announcement that he will be stepping down after 30 years as the semi-rational swing Justice and an increasingly conservative Supreme Court, Justice Anthony Kennedy has set the stage […]
Read More
In recent weeks, controversial Pro-AIDS lobby AIDSNOW has recently ramped up efforts to gain favor with many vulnerable Congressional Republicans in the run up to this year’s mid-term elections. FEC filings have revealed over $30 million in donations being poured into races across the country. In recent years, AIDS has been pushed to the brink […]
Read More
In her latest spewing of angry vitriol, Fox News screaming head Tomi Lahren lashed out at Palestinians for protesting the opening of the US embassy in Israel. On her instagram story, Lahren called the Palestinians “cry babies” after nearly 50 of them were killed in clashes with the Israeli military. Well known for her long […]
Read More
After yet another mass shooting that left 17 people dead in a Florida high school, GOP leaders are scrambling for solutions to this ongoing crisis. With more questions that answers, some Republican leaders believe that telepaths with the ability to predict gun violence may offer the best solution to the problem. “We’ve got to confront […]
Read More
Shortly after sending an order prohibiting the use of certain words to the CDC budget office, the White House sent a similar note to the National Archives in Washington, DC with a list of words that must be omitted from the US Constitution. The list consists of 12 words that are no longer recognized by […]
Read More
The White House appears to have a fascist problem. Work orders obtained by NBC reveal complaints about tyrants and vermin scurrying about in the White House Situation Room and the fast food mess, the executive restaurant run by McDonalds. Elsewhere, the presidential kitchen was reported to have been infested with authoritarian despots, while spineless yes men […]
Read More
Senate Republicans passed their first legislative achievement in nearly a year last night by a slim 51-49 margin. The major tax overhaul touted by President Trump as “big big savings for the plumbers, the carpenters, the cops, the teachers, the truck drivers, the pipe fitters. The people that like me best” was quickly pushed through […]
Read More
In a speech meant to promote the new GOP tax plan, President Trump clarified that he is, in fact, middle class. In his speech in St. Charles, Missouri, Trump claimed the tax plan, which will gouge the middle class while pouring money back into the pockets of the wealthy, would hurt his tax bracket. Trump […]
Read More
After a seemingly endless stream of high profile firings over sexual harassment accusations, many are starting to worry these may not be 200-300 isolated incidents. Matt Lauer’s dismissal from NBC is the latest in a long string of allegations leveled at men in positions of power. Lauer, like fellow news anchors Bill O’Reilly and Charlie Rose, […]
Read More
After pardoning them yesterday, President Trump demanded gratitude from turkeys Drumstick and Wishbone. The Presidential Turkey Pardon is an annual event held on the White House Rose Garden, in which the president offers clemency to a pair of lucky would be dinner centerpieces. Last year. Obama chose Tater and Tot, whose pardon Trump attempted to […]
Read More
Yesterday, NRA head Wayne LaPierre approved legislation to ban churches in the US. Although the bill still needs to pass the House and Senate, LaPierre’s go ahead eliminates of the greatest hurdle for congressional Republicans. This comes in the aftermath of the worst church shooting in US history which left 26 people dead, in Sutherland […]
Read More
A mass shooting rocked the small Texas town of Sutherland Springs this week as local residents were attending church. While the motive remains unclear, Republicans are certain that guns had nothing to do with the bullets that killed 25 people and an unborn baby. The second mass shooting in a little over a month has […]
Read More