Category: Sports

john kelly's balls

John Kelly’s Testicles Hung in White House Entrance as Warning to All Future Chiefs of Staff

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As the rumored dismissal of one of the longest tenured and  most stable members of the Trump administration draws near, many in the White House wonder what impact John Kelly’s departure will have on the presidency and who will fill his shoes. As an ominous warning to any future Chiefs of Staff […]

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Philly Celebrates Superbowl Win by Burning Philly to the Ground

After decades of fruitless attempts, the Philadelphia Eagles brought home their first ever Superbowl Championship by upsetting the heavily favored New England Patriots in Superbowl LII. To celebrate the unprecedented victory, Philadelphia citizens took to the streets and destroyed the “City of Brotherly Love” in a show of unbridled enthusiasm and kinship. Long known as […]

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Take a Knee

Conservatives Just Can’t Understand NFL Actions After several days of discussion, conservatives still cannot understand why NFL players and owners locked arms and kneeled during the national anthem. In fact, many conservative pundits still insist that the purpose was the exact opposite of its actual meaning. Fox News has stated the actions were “divisive” and […]

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