Category: Technology

Romaine Farmers Adding Gun Parts in Effort to Kill With Impunity

CAMARILLO, CA — Romaine farmers throughout the country are feeling the pinch after all shipments of their leafy produce were halted when 32 people fell ill from E.coli poisoning. The FDA immediately issued an alert and recalled all possibly contaminated romaine lettuce after people from 11 different states reported symptoms including nausea and diarrhea. Desperate to maintain […]

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Google Workbots Skip Walkout Despite Constant Harassment

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA — Google’s army of working robots was unfazed by the 20,000 person walkout staged by employees protesting the company’s handling of sexual harassment cases. This marked the first walkout at the Silicon Valley tech giant and surprisingly caused little to no disruption to their worldwide services. “Our robots are designed to be […]

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Cabinet Holds Emergency Meeting in Lower Statrosphere

Members of Trumps Cabinet Charter SpaceX Flight to Privately Deal with Travel Scandal After revelations that five members of Trumps cabinet had been using millions of taxpayer dollars to travel to private vacation destinations, White House officials have brought up major concerns about leaks. Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke was the latest to join the growing […]

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Facebook Tries to Manage Stupidity

Social Media Giant Plans to Crack Down on “Fake News” In light of recent revelations that Russian operatives used Facebook advertising to disseminate false information about candidate Hillary Clinton, Facebook has decided to begin monitoring “fake news”. Although many Trump supporters themselves call this move “fake news”, several have already found themselves banned for 24 […]

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