WASHINGTON, D.C. — Nearly two years have past since Republican power couple Kellyanne and George Conway began their mutually agreed upon sex strike and sources say there are no signs of an end in sight.
Married in 2001, the couple has been at odds with one another since George, a prominent GOP lawyer, first vocalized his contempt for Kellyanne’s boss, President Trump, shortly after his election. Kellyanne defended the president even claiming George was only well-known because of her position as a senior advisor to the Trump.
Instead of backing down, George upped his attacks on the president most recently calling his administration a “shitshow in a dumpster fire“. This further upset Kellyanne, while George insisted he was pulling punches when he made that statement.
Those closest to the pair say neither seems horribly distraught by the sex strike claiming they lost any physical interest in each other nearly a decade ago. Compounding the problem, Kellyanne reportedly has not removed her make up in 25 years and sleeps with her tongue hanging out of her mouth.
“George was very attracted to Kellyanne before she started going for that well worn leather handbag look,” One close family friend stated, “And George really started eating his problems after Obama’s first election.”
In the meantime, the war of words rages on with the President’s own son even weighing in claiming George had, “utter disrespect for his wife. And I know about family values because I defrauded millions of dollar from a children’s hospital for cancer research,” tweeted the lesser known red-headed son, Eric Trump.
“Kellyanne has made her career cozying up to the nearest alpha Republican,” added the family friend, “If push comes to shove she will side with the President. Unless he’s in prison.”