Trump Clarifies, He Meant He Would Protect Auto Manufacturing Shrubbery

LORDSTOWN, OH — As automobile factory closures pile up in middle America, some Trump supporters are questioning the president’s claim on the campaign trail that, “If I’m elected, you won’t lose one plant, you’ll have plants coming into this country, you’re going to have jobs again, you won’t lose one plant, I promise you that.”

Most recently, General Motors said it will close seven North American plants and lay off 14,000 of Trump’s most loyal supporters in Ohio and Michigan.

Not one to back down, Trump spent much of yesterday clarifying what he meant when he said there would be plants coming into the country.

“No you idiots, I was obviously talking about the other kind of plants, you know, the little green ones that grow in the ground,” responded Trump to reporters questions about the closures, “The factories is another story caused by Obama, but we’re looking into it. I’ve read the report. It’s all part of there being no collusion, so we’re looking into that.”

White House aides have stressed that the president’s statement about plant life was all part of his “never-ending commitment to the environment.”

“Jobs are important to this president,” said Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, “but so is the questionable significance of plants in our so-called eco-system.”

To further back-up his claim, the president was seen carrying a freshly repotted Wandering Jew into the White House after Jared  outgrew his previous container. Jared was placed in the east facing window of the West Wing where botanists feel he has the best chance of survival.

Many laid-off Trump voters said they would accept the explanation as long as the plants arrive at their homes before they are repossessed by the bank.

“Look, I’m not happy about losing my job,” said one recently laid off auto worker, “But he knows what he’s doing, and to be perfectly honest we could use some greenery to brighten up these dark days. Literally dark, because we can’t afford to keep the lights on.”

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